hmmmm… where do I begin?  I guess around 1994 when I first learned what bike messaging was.  I was impressed with bike messaging and thought it was good.  I met a few folks who did it, who were strong individuals with a certain style.  Now, fucking 14 years later, I see what I believed to be bike messengers everywhere.  Case in point:

This photo was taken last Second Saturday in Downtown Sacramento.  Now, the problem is this:

“Being that this is a very small town, I can’t see that there would be enough employment possibilities for all these messengers.” 

Due to my concern with the over population of this:

I asked around a little- I asked some friends who were more into the “SCENE” than I am.  I asked “what is with all the messengers in Sacramento these days?  They all wear messaging bags, they all have fixies, but what the fuck are they all delivering?  Why are they multiplying at such a high rate?”

I was beginning to think all bike messengers throughout the US were migrating to Sacramento, for no appearent reason, are they looking for jobs?  Then, I was graciously informed that these are infact NOT bike messengers but HIPSTERS or SCENESTERS.  This made me a little sick to my stomach knowing how hard REAL messengers work, to have a bunch of rich kids just turn around and bite all the style they came up with.  I used to embrace the fact that messengers were such a tight community of hard working bike guys.  There was bands in the 1990’s that were completely made up of messengers.  There was a real bike messenger scene in SF in the 90’s and early 2000’s.  Now, I wonder how they feel when they see people emulating their style (which I don’t think was ever supposed to ever be “cool”).  I know personally it irritates me.  People like this:

Who are wearing ultra tight fitting cut off jeans.  Why do all good underground cultures get ruined by people who think they are in fact a part of it?  If it was 1994 and I was in a CITY and saw this dude, I would be like, “he is a messenger, wonder what band he is in?”  Now it is more like, hmmmm….  look at the homo with cut off jeans (you know what I mean when I say homo).  I personally don’t like to bag on folks too much, but seriously isn’t it a good thing just to be yourself, have your own style and not copy shit that was never supposed to be “cool” in the first place?

Messengers are traditionaly living on the edge and living true freedom.  This new poser bike messenger shit is not about any of that, it is about fashion, and what they think is underground lifestyle.  Well, if this is underground, I want nothing to do with it.  Florecent wind brakers and cut off jeans is not cool.  Trying to act like a messenger is not cool.  Stop trying to act, and be yourself.  The bandwagon for fixies is full and about to be over so get you a BMX or beach cruiser because I am sure one of those will be next.  Personally, I will stick to skatboarding and riding the RT.  RT is the true underground and I have never seen one of these so-called scenesters who claim to be so underground on a local bus or the light rail.

Skinny jeans are for girls.

Cut off jeans are for girls.

Size M and smaller t-shirts are for little kids and girls.

In case you had that fucked up.